ill-equipped cartographers

You can take for granted that people know more or less what a street, a shop, a beach, a sky, an oak tree look like. Tell them what makes this one different.
- Neil Gaiman

It's Friday night again. Weren't we just here?

It's been a relatively quiet week, mostly waiting for stuff to happen that's out of my control.

For instance, I'm waiting for another round of VM website mock-ups. I was hoping to get something before the weekend, considering the speed at which we've been moving from our end, but the quickness with which we move is clearly not the rate at which other people do. It's frustrating because everyone is asking, "When is the magazine launching?" and all I can say is, "Still waiting..."

Then there's my final headshot images... still waiting to get those.

I've been waiting for packages that I've sent to get delivered in the mail, been waiting to receive packages in the mail, been waiting for e-mails from people who must've forgotten how to use e-mail, been waiting for people to read certain things that I've written, been waiting for some inspiration before revising Chapter 2.

I strongly dislike waiting. I'd much rather be doing, but, avoid it as much as I may, there are certain things in life that require the assistance of others, and that being the case, sometimes you just have to wait, while nudging and reminding and urging.

This week I also got to thinking about my map of life, and I came to the conclusion that I might have charted things a little askew. What got me to thinking about it was a conversation I overhead (while paying close attention) someone having about his daughter's best friend who published a book, after which he remarked, "I mean, how many people can say they've published a book before they were 20?"

I involuntarily cringed upon hearing the question. That was supposed to be me. According to my map, that should be checked off, along with a number of other "firsts."

But, going back to the conversation, I was suspicious. So, sitting at my computer, as I was, I quickly took the two small bits of information I had about the author in question, based on the overheard conversation, did some of my Google trickery, and voila, just as I had suspected - the girl published her book with iUniverse.

Let me preface what I'll say next by saying that there's nothing wrong with going the route of self-publishing, but in the world of publish street cred, that doesn't count. Not really. Sure, these days it's much easier and more fulfilling in the end to self-publish and promote a book yourself, thanks to the internet and companies like iUniverse, than it might have been years ago, but the way I see it, it's not the same as pitching your book to an agent and/or an editor and never having to pay a penny to see your words printed, bound, and sold.

I don't want to publish a book so that I can have a book and say, "Look, here's my book. Tell me how much you love my book." I want to publish books so that one day other people, many other people, say like those affiliated with The New York Times and the Newbery Medal awards, will come up to me and say, "Look, here's your book. We love your book."

Now, believe me, I know there are two camps to this debate, and I know one side is made up mostly of those who have gone the self-publishing route, who will defend it like family, but I still say it's not the same.

So what actually came of me finding out what I did via Google? Really, just momentary, childish relief. I don't know who this girl is or have any plans on reading her book, and ultimately it's neither here nor there with anything that I'm doing. What it did do was give me the opportunity to vent to Alex (as I do) via IM about how if I wanted to I could go self-publish a book tomorrow, but how I won't.

And he listened. And he agreed with me. And he reassured me. And he reminded me of the following: "The maps of life are grossly inaccurate, due to them being charted by unqualified cartographers such as you and I."

How true, I thought, and it calmed me down at the time.

But while you won't be seeing on my website anytime soon - Melissa Celeste Navia: Writer, Actor, Cartographer - I don't think it's completely out of the question to admit that you've taken a few unexpected detours and excursions along the way, leaving you behind schedule and somewhat off the pre-determined course.

I mean, what does a 10-year-old watching Hercules: The Legendary Journeys, on adventures with Indiana Jones, obsessed with books, and dreaming of saving the world really know about life anyway? Clearly, not much about maps.